Gothic Shifa

hell pls close ur door.get away.

2010-06-04T23:26:00.000-07:00

a photo of me when i was in sec 1

hello , im back after a dead blog. lots happened, so lots to tell today.

firstly my mid yr results, it was disgusting and eww. i cant look at my face in the mirror anymore, like you knw, am i that stupid? why always dun't get results i want or results i deserve? i studied my ass off but instead it turned out otherwise. well, went for counselling, with rina, i knw i had to go , cos i dunt knw how to handle myself anymore. but i want to my best agg score for Os this yr. i want what i want, and i must get it. i jus can be lazy anymore. shifa, be hardworking darling :)

yea, and stuff btwn me and my BFFL group are like flying kites with rusty string. hope its not breaking off. miss them loads, but maybe we deserve a break frm each other? dont get it either wats happening, maybe each of us needs tyme wif our own frends now, but that doesnt mean we dunt love each other, we do! we treasure our friendship! =) and i miss kat. she has been so lovable to me this days, after the one phone call, she made me laugh my heart out, hahahaha, kat darls, miss u so much, i want see u so mcuh spent tyme alot with u too, alot to talk bout,cos i knw even how sad i am, when i say it out to u, u do make me laugh in the end, gosh im crying out now.Kat, where r u when i nd u the most? miss u badly enuff, it has been months i since i saw u, talked to u.. i'll make u phone call soon alryte.

hm, lucky im not alone, and now with Asrina and my other gals,asnida and ami around, i dun't feel that bad, They're the ones i can talk to abt anything.i love my gals.and yea, thx asrina, for being there for me all tymes, hope our friendship last long, we had gone trough a long yr!! haha.and we'll do well for Os. yea! hee.

and i cant wait for coming dance practice, i have waited so long to start dancing again. i danced yrs ago. great that in my final yr, im performing! yay! great opportunity!! wuhoo.

yea, miss lots of people. and Uijfofti, iemiseuutoobutwerntmadefreachother,rwe?letscwathappens. and i miss u too, this person. ;)

blog again soon, take care dear.

6th march.

2010-03-05T17:14:00.000-08:00

hey, blogging again. 6th march.

well, lots and lots to tell. firstly ... my exams, to tell the truth, i did badly. swear i did. O levels are coming so soon... n my common test results suck. actually im not worried bt parents scoldings. but i hate it wen i have to look down on myself. like u knw, study so hard n u dun do well like how u expected it to be. and wen u also have high aims for the big Os. irritating la. the thing is i can't give up now, even if i feel like it. i dunt knw wen to start or how to start again. im just so scared of failing again, and get dissapointed all over AGAIN. rallie, i pray hard for my own well being. insyallah.

and the next thing is, mt teeth aches like HELL!! god, i had braces on like two days ago. and the pain is torturing!! seriosely it makes me fuming mad.....! the other worst thing is i can't eat!!im like living on kfc porridge, no chocolates n potato chips!? god, for 3 yrs? i think i wud get a slinmmer body uh..but still no fun uh.. and my mouth is like pouting , i think i look like a duck.
and u knw my sprained leg,its still not well, eventhough i sprained it so hard long time ago. and im having a bad sore throat, yesterday asrina told me she had a sore throat, i knew i too wud have it. and i did but also with a block nose, again.
pain, pls go away.mercy me alot.

and i miss my fwens. reallie i feel im parting away.. drifting apart. not like before anymore and i dunt knw how to have it back, the way i want it to be.like before.

and bby i reallie hope, u dont foget me. cosiiereallielwveuualotanddimstiillwaitinggforreeuwithhope.
take care dear.

BLANK

2010-02-23T01:42:00.000-08:00

ONE AND ONLY THING IM PRAYING TO GOD ALWAYS
'' GOD, PLS MAKE LIFE BETTER FOR ME''

Alot of things just aint right animore, but i dun care, first priority is my studies:)
and to say, im so left behind guys bring me forward before i totally lose it all.
and one more thing, gals, sorry if i am not how i had always been to u all. just have lots to think about. i dun't hate u. i can never do that. i love u guys alot. i honour our frienship. i need time.
and bby, im waiting for euu. take care dear.

new year..!

2009-12-31T23:46:00.000-08:00

heyhey.
happie new year everyone. a beginning of a new start today, especiallie for me..!
must lose lots of weight and study harder.
be happy and forget all worries.
well, lots to say, im just lazy to type it all out.

firstly im excited to go back sch.
i want meet all my beloved friends..!
but the sad part is, katherine.
she's not in the same level as us.
but atleast im always meeting her.i miss her.
so much.
my wonderful bestiee.frends since sec2 but it seemed
longer.. haizz.
and anthr special friend, edora.who also couldn't
make it with us together.
imagine history class without edora?
i'll rot.
it doesn't mean i only need her
during history class or wad.
but we just got close lasr yr in sec 3,
so im not ready to lose her so fast..
with her funny stories and jovial fun..!
we shared alot of things together.
i hope to meet her so soon.
edora, i miss u!

and i miss my other betieeeez, Bel,cel,asrina,asnida
and the list goes on n on.i miss my whole class.
and its bel bdae tmrw, happy birthday in advance beyb!
i love you!!

and u knw wad, i haven do any of my hmwks at all. maybe last min again.
blame myself. i shud have done it long ago.
and im starting tuition soon.
i reallie neeed to study hard. i want pass o levels n be proud of myself.
hehx, i wan be a U graduate.
that depends on me.
haiz, im praying to be less lazy and more hardworking.
and concentrating fully on my studies.
cos thats my future.

ashifa, be good alryte :)

hmm, and im happy, free frm worries.
only about coming Os.
yay, im happie.
and im starving, to lose fats.
i really hate food now.
still i cant leave without them.

so yea, thats wad i manage to type,
u knw i have lazy fingers.

alryte, meet again, take care dear.

BLOGGED. NOVEMBER.

2009-11-21T20:23:00.000-08:00

heyy there, haha, blogging, edora told me to, heehx, actually i got lots to tell,just plain lazy.

Holidays like usual, boring. boring. nothing is planned yet cOs we're waiting for my bro's psle results and then decide the school, i dont think he is coming my sch at all. he sort of high class.

And i cant wait for sch to re-open..! happie sia new sch, hehex, but im scared sick, my Olevels are next year, mths coming. die die.confirm die. study also die wan. becosss, im not readii. study hard still i have exam stress, i always have. scared. just wish i was prepared fully.im just feeling the pressure.

The next problem, im getting fatter. i swear i hate HOLIDAYS..! im like eating n eating, n eating. but once im dieting, i still dont lose weight. stubborn thing. its so frustrating, i think lossing weight could also lead to stress, menn. i have 1 mth to go, the whole of december, imagine,how much more fatty acids + glycerol i would have gotten.alot. shit la.shit.shit.shit.shit.

I miss my friends lots, bel,kat, cel, asrina,edora, asnida,penn... and kat's, not joinging us in the same level, and so is edora, not in the same class animore. ='( sad luh. one thing for sure, its not gonna be like before. time change alot. im not sure if it changes to the worst or better, wad cud be better u tell me.

Im confused, im not sure. im lost.im scared. im worried. if you are telling the truth, or to make it all just for fun im taking it for real. shud i? ... waited 3 yrs, its long. very.
if u wud just pay attention to me, and understand. if u wud.wud u? i knw u knw how i feel.
but do u care? ya? no?
i'm just waiting.like always.

And i dun't knw why, when i think again, i feel angry, furious, like shooting some enemies.
alot, u people, u knw what i think abt u, Ugly. thats the only decent word to use here. but u knw im cursing alot on u people. watch me stare. and you'll know who.HATRED.im way better than u ALL, i swear.

I finally got the novels, eclipse n breaking dawn. i was looking for them, thank god.
and im vowing, not to eat alot. just little.very little. i hate fat.
alryte, blogged. take care dear.

after an unawesome week.

2009-10-23T02:57:00.000-07:00

hello world. im back after a dead blog.

EOY is all gone, gone. now its results, the other end of stress. not funny.really. ugh, i hope im up up to 4express, i reallieee hope. if god permits. now, im just enjoying holidays, shopping..having fun slacking. yeaa.. but the best part is snuggling up into bed with a good book. thats lovelie. NEW MOON. a new book to start, oh,n tell u wad, the book is Amazingly, good. a worthful thing.

now, i think im like drifted apart away,from some loved ones. i dunt know y, maybe not the way we used to be? or its just time. i hope it gets back altogether. friendship a gift; i believe. i treasure gifts,so as friendships.i love my gals.

and and, now, i know, ''********'' never be mine. wud that happen? i'll pray alot to Allah, Insyallah. if GOD permits, i'll be happy.if not then its not meant to be. but i feel so so sad.cos i just cant forget. i hope patience and courage help.
so so, now. i just wait,relax and pay attention to whats happening around me.but now im so tired. so i'll log out,now. take care dear.

Tata =]

how im feeling siick?

2009-07-11T21:46:00.000-07:00

hey, todae.

im finallie blogging actualli im lazy.
lazy lazy. my always weakness.
so i have lots to tell.

first i want to talk abt the books ive read.
srslie they were so beautiful. sweet.
its all abt how life getting so perfect and toppled all over badly.
and it also such a lesson learnt.
believing in urself. feeling great, even though you are not.
how u can make life great just by believing u can.
and also admiring the writers way of expressing each each of her feelings
that she wants us to know. wow, i love books.
it cud ge sad, lovelie, jeolousy, hatred and admiration once u read them
mostly saying, books are one of my milliion idols.
they're my companion, sincerely.
well, im looking forward to Meg cabots and Ellen Hopkins new published books.
and another book which is p.s i love you. aniione know wher to get that book?

so next is abt how lost i am, i need to work hard on my tsudies, though im so lazy.
i still am not stupid.
i am so better than that.
maths is hard but wen i study, i think its way easier.
i have not memorised bio notes, im so dead.
poa, like usual, suck.
but i nd to pass. oh God, help, exchange my teacher.
and sch is so boring nowadays, i dun see my fwens like usuallie
how we always see each other.

and im happie that my frens are happie together, again, lessons learnt.
still i feel lost.wher i am?
well, another bdae is coming up.saving, wad to buy uh?
erm.. than after tha is a belate bdae for my sis, that also , dun know wat to buy.

and i give up. being strong. i just need to give myself a break. i want to smile, alot.
i want to laugh alot.
i want to know that everything wud be okae.
i want not to worrie.
i want to be happie.

and i am still trying to forget u.
its hard, i swear.
i cant forget the memories we had.
still its just memories, and it hurts alot, thinking bout it.
pain.
lost.

oh, i miss my fwens.
All of them. All of u akay!
gals, i love you.
haha, yea.

now i feel like slapping enemies.
kicking their ass.
well, im gonna be better than u all.
wait n watch.

stare at me, i dun care,
im better than u.
p.s, and im seriouse its true.

Bby, i love you.

words.gone.

2009-06-18T04:25:00.000-07:00

hyex.heyx.heyx.

hm..todae 18th june(hafizah's bertdae) sorri i cant give u presents so early since there is So birthdays this month! Even my mum's! yest was habibah's birthday, celebrating it soon. =]

hm, and finally i atleast did sch work, if not i'll go mad not studying.. yea, and and, im told u im not reading ryte, now i am, that tells me im not that bad already.accept still, my early rise now is 11. hahx! and im gaining more weight i think, i keep on Eating ! eating! even now i still can taste the chocolate bits in my mouth .. haizz, must reallie stop my temptings, cos, wen i think im already fat, and wen im fatter, its worst. its like its me, my own hands of sensation snatched everything away just like thaat..
hm. and Kats leavin us, i dunt know why. she gave a reason, which i cud not understand.but its akae, i respect her words. still u knw, im sad. im srsli gonna miss her so much. ...maybe its good if we are apart...? im not sure why. but how cud it better?? stms it has gud reasons to be apart.but will this be? ..?

yea, its sad, so sad..

and bby, ieknwiwunnnbieursfoervrevenifitsawhilebutnottfullietoeurselfitsakehhielwveuubby.

todae, anthr hot day.

2009-06-15T02:14:00.000-07:00

i realise, time eats me. it has just been a while, and two weeks of school already, and its hell.
hell of studying to do. and i just cant wait fot good things to happen. only if god permits. insyallah.
and and yeah, today, a hot day.i placed the whole stand fan beside me, at max. the weather is so different, it rains, then it gets hot again,and again. im like goin out every single day. so i know.definitely how scorched i was.

and yea, i just have to say sth.

i can never trust anyone.
bcos, they, will leave, one day.
is friendship, that small matter?is it not a big deal?
i ask u, tell me. Wats a friend for u?
Friendship is not a big thing - its a million little thingz.
im so confused.
its maybe, ur Ego. or u just forget friends easily.
babes, i have gone tru alot, but maybe, u have gone tru more than me.
i have been in a situation where, everything just ain't suppose to be happening.
but. but. but. why la u like that?

stms, its where u have to learnt something.
but nowadays, i regret. for duin mistakes over again.
Trust, n believe.
forgive.

i know, no one is perfect, neither friendship.

And i feel, i keep losing. losing. someone. each and every time.

when feelings starts.to.heat.

2009-06-11T04:43:00.000-07:00

now 7.46.

angry.
angry
n
pissed.

yeaa, cos again my feelings, they r (vibrating.brushing.against.other.particles.)
why? cos once particles are BOILED , this concludes.
err, im just not sure, to be mean or nice? cos people who be nice, dun gain
anything, other than once that are so mean, mean, mean.
Am i just TOO nice ? people just go up all over the head? thats not fair! not fair
at all.

like for example.

wen u are a popular-girl-in-school, they don't smile to ^ the so called unpopular club. they walk, with heads high, pretending, to see thin air.
and wen u r nice, no one, not anyone looks at u.
they go for popular unwilling to care for u, then the nice saint.
people, how i hope , one day , u'll get the curse.

well. yeah dats all for today.
this song, is so nice. =]

Adiye Kolluthe - Harris Jayaraj

todae. todae.

2009-06-10T05:17:00.000-07:00

this new purple dress. wore it with jeans =]

this beautiful classy top! damn nice la sia.

its black n white.

mangoes.

driyani dump, mutton briyani.

freshed opened.

the chocolate prata!!

the nice lunch, after no brrealfast, imagine how hungry we were.

hello todae. very very very. tiring. have been going OUT out! alot! im not studyinh, nth yet. not even reading. i haave been eating eaiting. growing fat! its like normal la. but i dun want to run after sch re opens. and eventhough wad fat is so ugly. haiz.
and u know wad. i like shopped for LOTS of of clothes!! nice ones. hahax. well so far im just worried. fat n studies?

and and todae, we went geylang n bought indian foood... damn nice yaa. so nice.
romba nalarekke. hehx.
it was driyani dump. mutton curry. and Chocolate prata. srslie it was so so deliciose, all my food lover friends, u shud try it!!
i ate also, samosas, otah2, currypuffs. n Mambro! mangga la.
hehex. yeah
IM PROUD TO BE AN INDIAN!!

i miss my fwens. everyone in sch. teachers? not sure.

so aniwaes i love this song, vaa chellam from thoranai, vishal n sriya new movie.
just hoping to watch it soon.

Vaa Chellam - Ranjith

dear shifa.

2009-05-20T03:44:00.000-07:00

hey there,
todae is the one of the infinity bloody hell-like day.
i dun know if i enjoyed.
er.. not that sure.
i passed A2 for SS.
hapie but not.
other subs, ???
forget it.

well, actuallie i was so so excited bout camp.malaysia camp.
now, im not that enthusiastic abt it.
thinking bout sleeping in tents, 3 min shower?
the waterfall is out of bounds..?!
that was so not expected.

but still i want to go,
get some points u knw, duh.
im cca-less.
i mean i have, but not enough points lurh.
lazi urhk.
ughkk.
yea.and i hope.
next term, will be a way better.
a less lazy shifa.
a more hardworking shifa.
and a beautiful lyfe for Shifa. Dearest Shifa.
ryte, lets hope. :)

and and, im saving, losing unwanted Fats.
hahax. yea, lyke real shifa. ;)

and and, my back aches, why?
cos im typing slouching.
so, todae is wed. tmrw is praxis finanical thing'thing.
heard, theres games?
shud be fun, cos we not decaying in class animore!
yay yay.=]

hm, im tired. of? mani things.
stupit unwanted problems.
and some walking disasters.
still im proud im standing tall.
yeah, thats a Leo.
yeah thats the lion's pride;)
hehx, pardon me, my Ego.

akay, blogged today.
will soon, maybe.
shud not be soon, maybe.
shud be, maybe.
Oh crap.

todae.

2009-05-19T01:26:00.000-07:00

4:27 pm, blogging.

tuesday, n a marking day. so im rotting at home. no where else.
finished my mid year, still im worried. am i failing worst? ugh, scared.
well, i knw that im dropping, but im afraid to drop to the worst.
haiz.
And life just getting misty n hazy nowadays.
i totally need a break.
haiz haiz.
im scared. im scared i wun be happie like i used to be.

lots of things is happening.
and its not suppose to happen that way, not like how i want it to be.

chick quaks.

2009-04-24T02:48:00.001-07:00

today , 5.50, 24th.april.
blogging.

horrible week, terrible.
im sad, angry, hot tempered this few days. i just am so mood out.
things just not happening right at all. still secrets, won't tell.
friendship poblem, still not solved.
still worried.
and my mid year is coming.. OMG..
im slacking, lacking.
i still have many things to catch up. i knw i will
do badly this mid yr.
haiz.
and ++++++++ texty me. for fun. atleast ++++++++ rememebers me.
but than, still not like wad i wish.
nehmind, i still waiting.
haiz. and i srslie hate it wen people take me for granted.
they don't appreciate wad i am, wad i do.
fine, wen u nd me, c how u beg.
n friends are not things u give away, jux like that.
.. i hate my feelings.and im sad.

today .. tmrw n the day after.

2009-04-18T18:28:00.000-07:00

WELL ITS BEEN SO LONG.LONG. I BLOGGED.

lets start with my whines,

everything's so wrong. damn wrong. or is it suppose to be like that?
thats so unfair.
i really hate it wen friendhip problem comes.
wen eventhough wad, u're not at fault but wen u feel wronged.
oh, why. why . why.
now i thnk im losing people. alot of people.
guys, can u come back to me??
and now i have no mood to study at all .
wen maths formulas dun get up to my head.
men im doin simple careless mistakes.
i cant memorise my bio, ss n watever els..
im no duin well.
i dun feel well.
i have to pass that bloody standing broad jump.
and i srsly know that i cant.
i sprain my thigh muscles while practising.it hurts.
alot.
++++++ wants me to +++++ up wen im krussshin on another.
and that krusssh is like 3 yrs long. and i have no hope. still.
i dunoe wat to do.
im plain lazy. im hopeless. im sad. im angry. im blaming.
my lips are silently cursing on some people.
i hate hate it wen life turns upside all over around.
wen things just are not to be solved.
wen everyone is afraid to sound.
im sad. sad.
i feel ... no comments.

feelings, why do u exist?

2009-04-04T02:15:00.000-07:00

hye, 5:19, saturday.

and im watchin tv, listenig to music and blogging. multi-tasking.
blog about wad? blog about being sick laa..! yesterday, wen for the cross country and i brought back home muscle pains with me. haiz. and i m so confused.and i am always thinking, making a conclusion and predicting. everything that is happening now is so wrong, do i deserve this haa?
wad bloody mistake i do la? why is it wen i be nice, im not treated nice? its not tryng to mean i be nice to be treated nice, but i just dun understand why i be nice for??
i curse feelings for everything, why shud there be feelings? ha? wah hell men, get away..! i know im brought up being a loner. forever. u know la. a pathetic, worthless thing.
and u wud never be interested in reading my blog cos its always about sad stuffs that people like u never care about, but stil its my blog, and im going to keep typing but it.each n every single feelings, every single action.
lyfe ,life i mean. has never made me happpie, it always concludes in a half smile, a smile of smurk. it mocks me, swearing im never deserving a fullest laughter. my dreams will always be my dreams. as i grow n learn, being nice is the very best way to solve every problem we have..
like for example, mahatma gandhi. he is one of my million idols, u heard of his story? its a beatiful lyfe story. i was moved. but do u think being nice like him cud be trusted to work now? with watever happening now, this gnrtion i mean..?no. i give up. let it be already. i promise to never be nice no more.

n still, i live the fullest in my dreams, u can never imagine how enchanted those dreams were.
every single thing is bout a smile. a curve that sets everything straight, =)
i still wait for u. u just dun understand. cos u will never.

ielwvT. ^-^

todae 18th march, wed.

2009-03-18T02:12:00.001-07:00

yeah, todae a dry hot day.
wen im suffering stomach ache cos of the prata i ate
in the morning todae.sickening. i haven ate lunch y'knw..
im hungry but i just dun want to make my pain worst.ugh!
nehmind i'll eat once my grandma's here with her awesome curry..!
haha, thats why i love food, cos my ancestors are good chefs. =P

4 days for sch reopening, countdown for term2, fast huh?
i still remeber starting days in sec 1. fun yeah.
haha, well now, no honeymoon. just mugging for papers.
must keep on studying uh.
lazie ya. physics damn hard sumore.ughh!

and like always, in every blogs, always same blog updates
all abt complains.ryte? yah. dats y stms comp gets virus,haha,
and yah. still me, the same. waiting. for *******************

still it wud never happen ya. i knw.

ielwvt

friday 13th. laz dae of sch,term1

2009-03-13T00:33:00.000-07:00

well yeah todae la last dae of sch.
one week onie ya.
i dun want.. i tried so hard to lose weight then now
stay at home, eat and get fat!!
so actuallie i wun be surprise if my sch skirt cant fit me again...
hmm.. then, celene is admitted in the hospital,kidney infection,
so sad. =(
maybe she's cumin back tmrw.. hope she gets realii well soon.
bels visiting her todae. i cant cum, u noe y.
imy celene!!sorrie uh i cant cum yaa.
then, i nvr get my report book, cos my parents nvr c cher, so so
dunoe wen uh i will get. haizz haizz.
i noe i passed everything accept sci, cos of stupid physics..!
2 A1s ye knw!! haha,which is maths n poa.of cos la now must studi hard.
sec 3 already, mus start puling my socks up up high..!
and and, im still in such a ************************************
pissed maybe. sad maybe. cos i onlie live the fullest in my dreams.
but dreams never come true for me.
they're just a compleeeeeeete fairytale. nice dreamy ones.
if miracles shud come, i'll cry out my heart ,lungs and u-dun-want-to-know things.
things have been going the same. shah was funnnie..haha..!
rina is att. congrats back to u now babe..! =]
bel too.
kat is still processing.
everione has sumone. except poor me.
and i still feel that we b.f.f.l are going apart frm each other, no particular reason.
maybe just that we're busy with our lyfes.. but still we r b.f.f.l ryte. ^-^
iie miss old tymes menn! last yr was memorable.especialli 2007, wer ie WAS WITH ***************..

yeah yeah.
wad ie have is just memories. but everything is gone just feelings. feelings.feelings.
and iestilllwveww.
doewwdoeww......

thats wad its about.

2009-02-28T05:25:00.000-08:00

and wen u feel sad u have no want to turn to. just onlie keep it dissapear all in urself. cos, this is my bloody fate. ye knw, wen first u have a parent u can never turn to cos they keep treating u like a small kid that never grows up..i wished i have parents like others have..supportive understanding and easy going.but i knw, it wud never happen. im fated to be lonely forever. forever. i pity myself alot.a lesson learnt .. in future, i will never be like my parents. i swear. swear. i wished i had a beutiful life, i knw i wun, i cant even spell that word. i dun knw why they always say we shud thank our parents cos if they're not here, we wud not be here, but wen we dun even want to be in this cruel world. and wen they dun even know how to make us happie... im so sad, ive always been sad.
they are always like that, home is like a jail. bored. trapped. im a grown up, i want to be treated like one. this is life, not somwhere where there is no entity happening, n the most important thing, its MY life. i made every decision. every single thing to where every part of my life happens.
i wished God knows how unhappie i am, even if he knws,will he help? im never perfect, nobody is.
everyone makes a mistake, and they repent. everyone goes thru experience, and they understand the world better. but i will always remain, the same. lonely,unapreciated and pitied.
no one likes to see me happy ryte.. i knw. nobody cares. at all. and i am hopeless, pathetic and trash. just that, i can never be the lady i dreamt to be, cos im fated to be like that. im sick of it.
but i knw, there is no way out. i have never seen anyone with the same problem as me, ami a jinx? OH. maybe. why?

locked, trapped and the abscence of happiness, its silently dying.
and no one is there to help. nobody.

alone.

26 feb, yayayy!

2009-02-26T03:54:00.000-08:00

todae? 26th feb? im happie. im happie. memories.lots of it. hwhwwaaha. hee. but .. still im always hoping.. wanting and wishing for it always cumin honestly. i got A1 sia for maths, for the bloody first tyme!! haha. happie uh seyy.and todae i got it. got it! (uknwwad)yayy! happie. happie. still confused. confused. confused. ='(

today,common test day.

2009-02-20T01:31:00.000-08:00

Youre My Love - Partner

hey, now is 5.39, and my back is aching, lazy to blog but got nth to do.
well, today? yea, today was first day of my common test, mt n eng, mt was alryte its jusx that i think i cock up sumwhere, eng was a total damn it, my english suck, i knw. i dont have any idea at all so i wrote about what i like uh. gone case wan.. this yr turns out worst men, hope nt. i want to pass.pass very well.

and ya, tyme pass, everything's gone.just alone. when i look forward, i knw im gonna be pushed all behind alone, so heck care,im goin na be independant, im goin to shine, all the way i want. think all watever u want bout mie, anyways u 'll still thinking bout me yaa ryte? and and, i care so nothing bout prattlings, go die uh..!

and and ''this person'' +++++ +++ ++++++++ ++ at all, why luh........?

i wished ++ knew..
i wished it came back, but im trying to forget.
but i can't and its useless. pathetic. ++++!

kae la, bye bye.

blabs.

2009-02-14T04:19:00.000-08:00

dejavu?

hey there, its been verie long since i blogged in.

well now, im free, maybe, cos im more busy watching the latest tamil dance videos. hahak. =D

yeah, sch now is getting tough luh..studies is such a pain especilaie POA!! wad la the teacher talking? well now im been placed at the back, can slp uh sey, haiz.but fun fun, sit with my old gd fwen, kai rou. =D haha, sch is fun in such ways, lyke laugh with bezfrens, seeing kat having her morning run..she's cute la, yaa, but im so sad she's goin back to states uh. why luh she must go, tzzk. then it'll be all boring agaen.. haizz.
and and, lyfe is much much different luh seyy. and as you know, Lyfe has never been a dream come true for me. haizz haizz.

well, i still am angry, full of hatred ,nt that ahgry laa... ye knw, wen u feel like throwing ur shoes(mine is size8) at this particular face. well, this person is the worst.or even pulling h++ hair and break h++ face smack onto a wall. OMG, the world is full of lies, deceiving looks. men, rot la u ..!
well anger towards many, even "st++ bi+ kind of per+++' , stare2 never see bfore uhk?! mind ur own business cannot uhk? yeah, and summore mani ppl.. but u knw, im still good girl, i'll never do such kind of things laa.. i dun step down to that level, im a girl to her manners, not rebelliouse, i'll still smile. =][= but dat doesnt mean dat u cud step up high all over my head yaa...

and and '' this person'' still not+++++++++ mie, yeah, dejavu..ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you will never noe who is +++ haha, never.never.never. =P
kae kae, this song is happening!! bye bye.gtg shake it..!!!

haha, uh bye.

630 evening

2009-01-26T02:30:00.000-08:00

my cuz sis..!

faizal anne

card trick

expert wad..

candid,haha..!=D

mie n ayshah

firdaus,irfan anne,barkath. candid.

starting the fire

my uncle

barkath akka

ayshah

dat smile, i like,

beautiful ha?

haha, hariff kochappa, my uncle.

moments

my bro n akka.

ehehehheeeehe..!

she wants a hug...aww..!haha

daddy mummy remix - sugarboi

well, ive not been blogging frm last yr so nw i am.still im lazy and tired cos i jux came back from chaley at east coast. wahh, damn fun sia.. and im happie we made it last minute,haha.

on the first day,i reached evening then we ate the barbecue satay, otah2 and stuff.then we waited for faizal anne,then walked to the beach, enjoyed the night breeze.
we came back and we told ghost stories,the author: faizal. haha =D
and then we were all sleepy so we went to sleep but at the fist night we slept on the floor cos the guys took the bed..haizz.

The next morning, we,onlie the girls, went morning swim at the beach leaving the guys to come later. swam, had fun and pitures, buried barakath akka and snap photos.soon all came then we played volleyball at the beach,which i suck at,got some scolding,but wad to do?haha.then we were invited to play captain ball by an indian grp, we played a friendly game, but we lose 10 9 onlie. but we played well ahkeyy, haha.=D

Then we went back,showered and starved.ate. rest. Then i played badminton with my aunt while waiting for the rest to wake up. we cycled in the evening,and now my muscles ache so terribly. slept but it still did not worked.

then fatima akka finally came, we ate pizza hut.then played Charade[if that is the corect spellin]with the whole family. laughed,enjoyed. then while we were playing, a show was happening next room. gays were making a very funny move, hahaha. funny sia..

then some wen cycling, i played badminton with my aunt. then night came and al slept, and we finally got the bed!! aha, but it was damn cold,so cold!!

The next day[which is today] we ate, cycled so little then ready to leave.
now im so still in pain. still tired eventhough i slept. but still it was a very fun enjoyable moment we finally had. as a big family. yayy! so happie.

and hoping for anthr one...haha.

ahkey of to pray, bye..!

blabs!

2008-12-23T00:33:00.000-08:00

ayshah,my beloved cuz sister

at queensway mac

on my uncle's bed... slept at 3 sia..

ummar, small cuz bro

mubin, cute handsome boy, smallest cuz bro

fatima akka, ive never see her for yrs..!

yeah, hie...ive not been blogging since hari raya haji..
the same excuse luh,lazy ya.
well, im happie, somehow.
ive met all my cuzins.loved ones.
i wished no problems will come again.
and we cousins can be together,forever.
well, ive missed growing up with them.
we could start all over again.
haha...
well, yah, this wish was achieved.

and and, i just came back frm a sleepover
in grandma house,
at telok belangah.
sleepover with aysha,firdaus and my bro.
we realli had a fun time
eventhough its just a one night thing.
we were supposed to go
for a reunion dinner,
where everyone comes and dinner
together somewhere.
but it was cancelled.
as my big cousin bro
had chicken pox.
hopes he gets better.
yeah, that was great,fun.
after catching up with each others
life, sch and stuffs.
i was enjoying myself.
with my grandma and also uncle.
and also the small kids.
haha, i wished for sth like this,
but wishes are always better ryte..
hahs. =][=
and i hope we have a sleepover again,always.
at grandma's.

yeah, n sch is comin up after a week.
am so excited, but sad.
as u knw, so little tyme to be lazy again..haha.
cant wait to see my lovely frens, i miss them.
i miss them so much!!
all the fun and stuffs.

im still counting down..
and we're goin orchard, with habibah n kak ct and mami jaina.
and and also the reunion dinner, can't wait yeah!!
tis yr was a worst yr,
but it's also the best!!
and ily, happiness.

yay me! ashifa

2008-12-07T00:49:00.000-08:00

hm,hie,im so lazie to blog up everythin.
im duin so nothing, i think i read billions of book pages,
and watched all the dvds wif my bro.
tomorrow is hari raya haji.
thats one good news , wen my dad says we're visitin my grandma's.
yeahh, im excited, after years,maybe 4 yrs,
ive never met my cousins.(believe mie_im not kidding)
ye knw thats y my family is boring.
i dunoe why this stupid things just tend to happen to my entity,
its not fair ye knw.
and and, i swear, in future, i won't do that,
i'll live my life.
i'll live it all i want.
wat everr i want, i'll get myself.
now, im just going concentratin on my studies.
i wished i was n is smart.
i wished i was not lazy.
but i Am.
i cant wait for tmrw.
i hope nth bad happens, i want to meet my cuz,
i miss them, i dun noe how they look like.
yeah, no one will want to be in my shoes,
never want to be in my life.
i had to face n tolerate stupid stuffs.
life, nobody said it would be so hard.

well, i hate, but i must love.
i just nd a long break.
but i HATE THIS HOLIDAY.
so so bad.

agh!

2008-12-01T22:58:00.000-08:00

hie.hie.hie.

Ryte now its 3 sharp,im sickly can't stand the sight of her.
ya,she.
OMG. i just am waiting so long for her to get off..!
move away,dun show urself.
yhh, u noe sth.
ie tot of u noe, lyke wad good girls do,
they smile n forgive.
instead i foegive again.
want to noe why?
maybe u're not interested to noe,but
im tellin,i nd to type on keyboards.
SHE is so thick skin.
so so!
She wun never change wud she.
miss''XXX'' , stop the immitation.
and btw, u"re not a' hot stuff 'ya.
(dok korang jgn terasa ehk)
GET A LIFE.YOU.
and u noe im gud girl.
i wun scold harshly here.
but u shud noe my lips are silently cursin you.
AGH!LOLITA YOU,SUCK.HARD.
im not turning back n forgive,
i tot i wud.

siick of u.

2008-12-01T22:57:00.001-08:00

boriin holiidae

2008-11-27T01:47:00.000-08:00

Boriin holidae.

well todae im sad.
cos im fat. =[
i never want to be fat, im on diet.still im fat.
haizz, nehmind la, i m still trying to accept mie.=]
n ya, im bored bored bored.phoff!

and i forgot to say,
im no more in the same class wit bel , kat n feeqah.=[
dats one more sad thing.
i actualli didnt noe we will change class uh sey.
nehmind we still can b together, ryte?
but im with ina, edora n ami =][=
haha, well i n ina, we're takin axactly the same subjects=]
woah, i nvr tot of that.
then then, next yr will be a brand new yr, i hope.

but i miss sec 1 in naval base at khatib.=]

i luv that tyme, n kai rou.
n him, now too.

haizz,manie things were gone; its a gift.

fat phobia

2008-11-22T22:48:00.000-08:00

he is so gorgy...!

saif ali khan, cute

salman khan, funnie.

well yeah,
todae im updating wads happened yesterday.
oukey, in the morning, i woke up at 11.30
bushed my teeth,bath.
then did the sickenings houseworkss.
then i ate a late breakfast.
i did aerobics, cos im fat.
than i cleaned all my last yrs stuff, bks n dirts.
then i did aerobics again.cos im fat.
and a late lunch.

and then i pledged not to eat at night..
so i stayed up watched a horror movie,
MIRRORS.
but unfortunatelie, my dad went to
shop, n bought KFC,
so i was so tempted and ate
that diliciouse chicken n mashed potato with
fries n pepsi.=]
AND IM FAT AGAIN.

stereotype for yesterday:
FAT IS UGLY

whines!

2008-11-21T00:30:00.000-08:00

this is genelia, she is cute.
but this is more cute n preetie, shes hot ya. i lurv her smile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well ya, she is trisha. an indian actress. i love her.

well and now now, rite now , im verie angry with this stuppid laptop!!
ive been online for an hour but now i finallie get to blog. its slow . damn itt!
okae n wads my post gonna be abt?
ya, its gonna be about my whines!
u noe how manie tymes ive to find a perfect blog layout, n finalie a good one.
u noe how my weight is loading..always, im FAT FAT!
n im bored bored at home, for 2 n half mths.

i want to..if i complain, it takes hours

nehmind. gd bye
agh...

The CoffiN

2008-11-18T23:31:00.000-08:00

this post is about the day i n my cuzins wen out ,finallie>
to watch movie, which is called THE COFFIN. =]
aniwaes it was fun fun.we wen to eat at MAC and i phateticallie full, cos of the milo. then we wen walk walk, see see. and we took photos,for memories ryt.hahaz.
then we wen to the cathay,then i realised wad was cathay, it was cinema.how ...(sth insulting) yeah we watched the movie..scary but not realli la.. i dun see ghosts.
yeah it was momorable, i want to create more!!!!!!!

luv them!

say or just not say it?

2008-11-15T01:34:00.001-08:00

I hang up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
Cause the possibility
that you would ever feel the same way
About me
It's just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away, goin away

Has it ever cross your mind
When were hangin, spending time girl,
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/E7al ]
Are we just friends
Is there more, is there more
See it's a chance we've gotta take
Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away, goin away

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away, goin away

Crush - David Archuleta

err..im not gonna say much.cos im still thinking twice to say it.
i have alot of things to say
but i dun want.
but i cant keep quiet either.
maybe next tyme luh...

2008-11-09T21:57:00.000-08:00

Kadhal Virus

hi hi hi
serioselie its so so boriin.
im goin to be sick soon.
agh..!
aniwaes, ie miss manie of my fwens.
13 november cums soon.
yeah!
haha..and u noe wad,
ive realised manie manie things.=]
about, LYFE
FAMILIE,
FRIENDS,
AND LOVE.

well somewhere in my history. i lost a fwen.
tha fwen is which i trusted.
she never knew how i did.
well, thats wen i noe,
let it be a fwen, anione.
jux trust urself.
and believe in them.
well lyfe IS about problems
and learning from it.
i hope i did.
i lurv my fwens now.
rina, bel,kat,cel, feeq n edora.
im tryin to be happie,smile n laugh.
but im still so in luv wif goth ya=]
but one day i noe, im quitting it[goth i mean]
but not now..!
haha.. but u noe i do still feel angry with dat ''xxx''
i dunoe y i cant jux forgive n forget
lyke wad kat said.
im tryin u noe,
but im still feelin so restless bout ''xxx''
i cant smile at her animore.
i noe revenge is bad, im not revenging.
i juxx wan her to noe,
wads she did,nth was pleasing.
and jux stop it.
but i dun want to care la.
non-of -my -bloodie-business
im hapie;trying to be.=]

stiil waitin for 13 november
3 days to go.

blissful=]

2008-11-09T04:30:00.000-08:00

Kovakkara Kiliyae - Vel

SWEET PRINCE OF MINE

SWEET PRINCE OF MINE

Sweet prince of mine
Laid with roses and thyme
Under the crescent lunar skies
Beneath the earthen soils lies

A bed of wooden made
A rose crushed by fallen dust
Bleeds within my heart
Dreams of heavenly skies

Sweet prince of mine
Immortal cherub, I do invite
For dreams of late
I made you mine

From yonder window brings
My angel with dark wings
Lover of innocents fall
Between sheets, a virgin calls

Blood raptures between lover burns
Dawn approaches like a thief
Stolen rays upon him, he dies
And leave he must before its rise

Pleading for more embraced, I sigh
Stay for love and my life, I sacrifice
Heart will break if he should go
But auburn skies spreads time, be still

For lovers sake, a cruel departure
Lustful thought will come
Last kiss between lips
Blood drops between tongues entwined

Gone out the window
My beautiful dark prince flew
Promise of more as night will bring
My lonely heart sings for time, be quick

For the pain of innocents is no more
Just the waiting embrace of my sweet prince
I must endure with hearts and tears
For this night I will follow

A promise made by love?s vow
A bride I will be
But not of day and of white
But of night and of blood

isn this poem beautiful?
its by Prem Anand Rethinasamy
its so niice ryte?

8:20 pm signing in..

2008-11-09T04:14:00.000-08:00

Adada Adada Adada - RAvi

well erm now im jux doin nuthing but type n backspace..
dunnoe wad to say sey.
one minute past.
then then...er..actualie im rushing cos i want to watch madagascr on tv.ive not seen it since first it came out. i dunt noe why people think madagascar is so childish..its cute n funnie..i laugh while watchin, ie luv their song. hah=]
and now im tryin to learn my toungue tamil(ie shud have done dat longtyme ago but stucked in malay=[ )
n as much language as possible..nuhthing better to do mah.
its fun too actuallie.

and waitin to get out of the house.=[
and and ie think im growin fat.
ie ask helped frm Hema, she gave mie a timetable, i am following it n i cant eat alot of chocolates animore.
haizz..then then i noe u hate reading this nehmind i type wads in my mind...then err...
NOTHING READY LAAH!

KK bye sweets, tag n go!
luv ya,shifa

11.48 signing in

2008-11-06T19:42:00.000-08:00

Ada Gada - harrisjayaraj

well i did not write in for days. so im doin it.
on tuesday, i and my cuzz, went to the library, but too bad, yishun liibrary under renevation.stupid ryte, we havin holidae n they have renevation, otak no have.
so then, we went shoppin at causeway eat n buy...so so so.
fyi, if we go out together, we qonquer.haha.
then then, nth else la... i stayed at home..wad else eat la.gettin so lazie ...=[
haizz.

well waitin for next thurs..goin back school.=]
hehe=]

k im off to watch movie...bye!!!!!=][=

4:15 pm signing in blogging

2008-11-04T00:11:00.000-08:00

Taxi Taxi Nanba - TamilBeat.Com

er now now..doin nothing. todae i woke up damn earlie at 6.35 to wake my bro whose late for sch.luck i woke.
then, i did aerobics again.
with mum, i hate fat, so so so u noe.
but bfore dancing, i ate choc, so half way i stopped.=[
then ate fries with tango juice..
then watched dunnoe wad movie...then sat infront of laptop.
jux finished editin fansign pix for dear neesah=]
n she gave me too=] frens are loved[=
err then im writin to u...
haha...=][=

k la..nothing better to say..one sentence to end'' ie miss my fwens''
n u noe wad, bel cut her hair , woah.
ive not seen her yet.
yearning too.
n ina got her psp.
wow..jealous sa.
kat, i jux smsed her, she placed private for her blog, wow, she wunt let me read.
celene..erm she comented mie=]
ha..thats all folks.

bye sweets,tagged me n go kaes=][= luv ya.

2008-11-01T19:37:00.000-07:00

Chinnamma - chinnamma

today is another boring day.=/
aniwaes i enjoyed lots of laddu .ha=D
my mum wen tekka bought dosai, vegetarian rice n laddu,milk sweets and chocs
yummm..! ha, wad i do is eat onie luh.
still yearning to mit my fwens or go out wit cuzzs. hope i have a good vacation for this whole two mths ya.HOPE.

well dats it.and im thinking of wad movie to watch...

frendsh

2008-10-30T17:40:00.000-07:00

Careless Whisper - George Michael
[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Words*]

"People who love you
people who you love back
people that will always be there for you
through the good times and the bad
they make you happy when you are sad
they are angels that have yet to earn their wings
they are your dearest friends"

well frends frends frends. is always about smiles.=]
we dun have to be wad they are to be with them,
thats not frends.
we can be who we are wen we are with them,
that true frends.
eventhough how angry u are at this frend,
fren's smile will force a grin on ur face.
haha, aniwaes, who cant leave without frens?
no one ya.
hmm..then then,

[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Words*]

2008-10-30T05:14:00.001-07:00

KuttiPisaase - Kaalai

hie hie.. well todae there is nothing much dat happened.
i did aerobics wit my mum. must must lose some weight.if not fat luh.hmm.
then then i ate on diet.
but ate lots of chocs, so wads diet then?
haha, and in the evening i watched a movie at home, funnie.
thats all, bored , not much things to sae,
then nw, im just downloading songs for my parents.hee.
wad songs?
hello by lionel rithchie..something lyke dat.=]

kaes dats all.

come by gaen.

madness ..

2008-10-30T04:51:00.001-07:00

one dry holidae

2008-10-27T21:15:00.000-07:00

Anbae En Anbae - www.onlinetamilmp3.com

hie hie. well todae now at 12:18 ...

blogging bout dunne wad.
err..yesterday was diwali, so happpie belated diwali..!
my mum cooked alot of foooooooooood...!!!!
erm, dosai, prata, chicken n muton curry..mmmmmmmmmmmmm.
i ate n ate duh!

haiz but then i cud not go to mdm Cho farewell day as 'dun want to tell' reason.
so i did not make it, and asrina also did not go...haiz. so sorrie dear.
bel, i think she busy with someone luh,,haha.
well hope to mit them durin our outings=]
oukeys erm then then..
ouh ya..ive watched all the movies i want..!!
but still got more luh.

and once agaen, im bored.haizz.

well see ya again.=] bye bye sweets,tagged me ya!!!!!!!

=]

2008-10-23T02:44:00.000-07:00

haizz!!!!!!! todae was the last day of school, so sad=[
i mish my fwens lots loads!!!!!!
2 mths stayin at home..bored sia.
well it was very sad la,
we hugged and
some people were in tears,
so was i .finally.
wad to do.. sch was fun ryte..
now leh...stuck at home doin housechores =(
agh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i luv my dearest fwens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-19T19:25:00.000-07:00

David Achuleta - Crush (remix).mp3 -

heh.. wad a life.
sometimes i jux want to fly up high and forget this urking stinky world.
im verie verie veri
sick of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ப்ர்ர்ர்க்!

2008-10-18T21:14:00.000-07:00

சோ சோ. லெட்ஸ் ஸ்டார்ட் ஆல் ஓவர்.
okey wads up today?hmm..goin raya again.
to my cuzz house luh. err...then ..actuallie thats all nuhting als,
prity boriin ya.
i hope holidaes is not boring at all!!!!!!!!
ugh! its so empty.
empty!
why luh ..

இ லவ் யு
அஷிபிபட்ட
Empty (Chipmunk) - The Click Five - Chipmunk

ப்ளுஎக்!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-17T00:20:00.000-07:00

ச்டுபிப் ப்லோடிஎ ட்ரில்ல்ஸ் கெட் ஒஉட் ஒப் மி ஹெட் லு!!
stupid bloodie drills get out of my head luh!!

well today was the same.same same sch, but there was hamsters todae;not big deal.
life is as normal, still my same old self and the same old torments.
ie hate hate hate.
ie love . love . love................
haizzz.. im convobulated by stupid bloodie things that i shud jux forget but cannot luhx. aniwaes todae was nuhthing. bel did not turn up, i filled up my sub combination form then slag in class with no teachers at all.
too pix with all dearest ...sch holidaes comin seyy, bored ya stayin at home. ugh!
ha. nehmind. lyfe ma.

kk sweets, tag me n go ya... bye .

இ லவ் உ பீப்ஸ்!
டாக் மீ டாக் மீ!
ஹேஏஎ.
ஷிபிபட்ட

stupid torment out of my bonking head luh!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-16T06:25:00.000-07:00

hie..............!!!!!!!!!!!

actualie im seriouselie not in the mood. im sad cos of manie things.
=(
if im goin to succeed in lyfe cos i think im stupid.(seriouselie)
if my problem at home stops!
if sch dun end so fast that i do not have to start my housechores.ugh!!!!
and i miss my fwens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and wen will i feel sincerelie hapie....
im sad.
sad, sad.
well im hapie i noe someone , somepeople love me. im not alone,alone.
hmm. my torment hurts ya.
today i went SAM er, boring n hot!!!!!!!
huhk! nehmind. atleast it was more fun then mugging.
haha.okeys luh. ily peeps. eventhough im mean n nasty, im still nice and gud luh..hah.k bye dearests!

agh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

2008-10-13T19:46:00.000-07:00

er..ie hate wads happening now.i hate!!!!!
ive no words to dscribe this.'
nevermind, just to find my own happiness,i'll make mine someday.
i never tasted happiness n blissness.
thanks to my fwens, they made me laugh eventhough i dun want to smile.
i love my fwens and sis...
thx.ily lots!

well, its a stupid damn family problem, its not even a problem.
but it ended up like one.
im so saaaddddddddd...........!
crying just made nose blocks it cant do anything.
i dream. dream. dream.
i want my own happiness.
i will make one myself.
i'll study hard, be good and do wad i want.
i'll prove im not left out in the dark n murk..
i want to prove a better life.i want.
tormenting n tormenting..wen wud it end ya?
i noe.it wud never.
ie hate hate life. how i cried, i still feel theres more to cry out on.
my eyes are sore red even my hands are shivering whle typing.
i noe i dun have a perfect family, but deep down inside,
i love my parents,my dad.my mum.my bro.

im still sad.

2008-10-13T00:29:00.000-07:00

agh
!

oh men shit......! i feel so sad n scared..its a stupid family problem!
haiz...why la seyy lyke dat...

nehmind la bye...no words to describe this luhh...=[

மி பாவௌரிடே ரீமிக்ஸ்

2008-10-09T23:32:00.000-07:00

நம்ம காதுலே
NamMa KaaTule bLiNG HoPpErZz En+E+AiNmEnT™ - DJ *Navesh

2008-10-08T22:34:00.000-07:00

Perunthil Nee - பொறி

பேருந்தில் நீ

2008-10-08T22:27:00.000-07:00

லவ் மீ போர் வதோ இ அம்
தட்ஸ் த லேஅச்ட் இ கிட் கெட் பிரோம் யு

2008-10-08T22:18:00.000-07:00

Sei Yethavadhu - Billa

my attitude is my business
my giggles are my favourite
my love is for good and bliss
my nonscence is my sillyness
my smile is for loves and cares
my cries and weeps are my torment and pain
my anger is my unwanted and hated
my life is unexplainable

2008-10-08T21:41:00.000-07:00

ie have always wondered what life is about,
ie wish i cud be so light with no legs but wings.
i have illusions never happen in reality in this entity
for once
ie want to be the most enchanted girl,
ie want to wake up on a mirthful morning,
ie want to shake and dance the whole afternoon,
ie want to enjoy bliss.
lastly,
ie want to admire a captivating night.
ie hope my fairytale dream come true.

SHIFA

IM SICK OF PRETENDING.

2008-10-03T20:49:00.000-07:00

beep!

hello helo. i want to scream out sth.

'ur all a retarded bitches!'

seriouseli i have no comments towards all gals who thinks there right but theyr NOT!! haiz... nehmind. im get sick at their faces. sick. SICK!
i am ashifa, with very high dignity. i take care of my family name. (eventhough my family is not perrfect) im not cheap. i dun go after guys desperately, COS GUYS COME AFTER U. i noe i have manie thing(s) that i lack. im not preety, not beautiful or neither smart nor a popular girl in sch. im tired of pretending ... sick of smilin my fake... FAKE DA FAKE..!!
i love myself, i be myself. i give up in being nice. ill be mean and nasty now... NOW! ANd once more, girls, ur bitchy attitude sux. SUX SUX!!! look at ur 'donoe wad' self in the mirror, dun pretend who u r not. And stop behavin lyke kids, i said it bfore, maybe u forgott... i just hope one day cry. CRY. of wad u see urself as. thats how mean i wud curse. may u be cursed so much... may ur life get sick of u... SICK!

and PUH'LEASE, stop that mean girl attitude, it doesnt suit u att all! GET A LIFE, BITCH.
AND NO BITCH IS GOOD.
AND U R ONE, U SAID SO URSLEF..!!!

im haziie :(

2008-10-02T23:20:00.000-07:00

Drop It On Me - ReggaeMix - Ricky Martin ft Daddy Yankee

woikk!!!!
im so confused!!!
grow up guys,jux grow up wud u.we're so big and so tall.
stop ur bloody irritatin whines. ur bloody sulks.
stop behavin like dupe kids.
start maturity.
i dun noe wad is in every end of ur heads but i noe it needs to stop the childish thoughts.serioselie. im realli sick n aggitated. if u keep complaining, u wun have happiines. if u keep bein selfish n thinkin bt urself, u will be left alone one day.if u keep judging people, u wud never have time to love them. no one is perfect , NEITHER YOU! want me to bust that down ur ear drums or? ive always want happiness,smiles, laughter. ha. its just a stupid silly fairytale i dreamt.ryte?
All my experience, says friends are nt wad i expected. u want have a good frend, u be one first. u treat people that way, u get that in return. guys, stop ur attitudes, be joyfull. Dun spoil the whole everythiin. and dun ROLL UR EYES WHILE READING THIS. i hate that. hate. if u still want to start fighting back to wad im conveying, shut ur bloody mouth.cos ill shut my ears.'not listening'.
dun u get it? why is ur attitude so sickening? who u thinking of urself??

im danciin again :)

2008-09-20T21:11:00.000-07:00

Kannum Kannu - Arthika.Net

hie hie..back here again.=]

today is sundae.tmrw is monday, and after a while my EOY knocks on my illusions. So. im starting to think right and study...im laughing wwit my bro..which is gud..but he is still irritating.
always.
after this im goiin out causeway point...........!
hope ill go lots of window shopping.hee=]
i got my new mp3, for my belated birthday!wee......!
i love my uncle, well he gave it ya...
and guess wad, im dancing and turning again with the steps all correct..but no one wud see me dance, lyke duh, i wun dance infront of u, onlie infront of the mirror and laugh at myself =P
im begiining to giggle alone..hich is usualli me.im happie.
but im still sick of my problems. i dunoe if everythings all rite. haizz. its jux been yesterday n todae, n i miss my fwens, asrina, bel, syafeeqah, edora,celine.
haha...=]=]aniwaes meetin them tmrw. BUT i cant go to the BOOM play!!!!! agh!!!!! stupid bloody wak wak wak!!! agh!!!
nehmind nehmind...
haizz..now i noe that anger spils alot.it hurts even though ur jux expressing out ur anger..but if ive never done that, wen wud i feel better??
wadever i do is wrong.rite??
i noe i noe... im jux good for nuhthing.scold me more. i will hear them n feel hurt. u want me to noe im wrong ryte? ok im wrong. wrong. okeys? okeys?

finalie i giggled to mieself.im happie.!!!!!!!!!!

Koli Veda Koli - www.tamilmasala.net

2008-09-20T01:23:00.000-07:00

EppoNee - Kaalai

stop stop stop!!!
stop thinking wadever ure thinking bt mie!!!agh!

think bt wad u did! think! if u have made us sad, cant we make u sad?ha? hey this world dun belong to u. its hoe the way we think. no one is perfect neither r u ediot.
well for so long ive never been so angry and now i am.
and ive been keeping my lips sealed shut so dat i wun hurt anione but nw i think i dun care if i hurt u, looking at ur face makes me boil! boil so hot, i dun noe why. why r u like that dear? i feel bad at the same time i felt stupid to be so nice all these while.

i give up. i give up.

i hate hate hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

agh!!!!

i want this smile...

2008-09-20T01:08:00.001-07:00

well..now my bro had made me smile again..but juxx for a while. i want it forever.
=]

haizz...now im jux thinking of so manie peeps.
i wish they wud stay wid me forever.
i wish n wished.
i want that falling star wish happen to onie ashifa. cos im still picking on which star wud fall .. which i also noe wud never happen in years.. :(

and once again...im not smilin.

2008-09-20T00:58:00.000-07:00

hey there...

well wads happened? i jux came back from mosque. so tired.i feel so down.i feel sth is wrong and realise im not smiling at all from yet since this morning.i noe sth is so missing. i noe im angry. i noe im sad. wen wud i be so happie?? that tyme durind reahersals.ha.ha.
im stressed of school which is my studies. im stressed with frends problem which i wish did not happen.but it did. im stressed with food, cos im fasting. i still feel bad towards that someone cos i rejected that person.i have lots to think abt but it wun end. ok ok my life is terrible. my smile wud always be fake, cos i noe how i smile, im still worried bt sth else. i noe i noe, im nvr gonna be happie. haizz...'

i hope my smile will come find mie n i wud not lose it again. i want my smile!!!
desperatelie wants to be happie. :( im forcing my smile.

............brrrrkk!!!!!!!!

2008-09-19T07:42:00.001-07:00

Dhaam Dhoom

blah blas blak!!!!!!!!!!

2008-09-19T07:20:00.001-07:00

hie la seyy...

brrrk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i luv sch.
i luv my frends.
i luv myself.
i luv my family.
i luv wad i luv thats my attitude.
my business..my wish.
dun prattle bt mie dun say i changed cos wad ever i lyke to do...its mie, no one influence mie.its my opinnion my everything!!
dun talk like u own th world ya..its actualli to whoevers who is not happie with me.i pretty or not i dun care. i noe im never a popular girl, im never a beeuty.im not boasting on wadever i have. i smile :) wen u praise me.
there it goes wen some people show theiir attitude.they want to show their true colours, so ill show more of mine worst.
hey jux FYI im alwaes nice, ive never think of getting aggtated nor angry wid aninoe, cos dearest peeps out there, if u want me to be nice or ur good chum, u be mine first..ok yar??

ive enough of fighting i want my smile back. N WEN I SAY HI, U SAY HI TOO. cos i nvr offended u. okeyy?
pls la.dun be childish.
dun be a bitch.
no offence.
this is how i think.its not to anione of u or neither whoever is reading this.

its jux ashifa n onlie ashifa

daugther of ayub ismail meerah!!!!!

=] k sweetiexx loves for u.daa taa.

hie..back here agaiinn!!!

2008-09-04T22:38:00.000-07:00

heyy..now i, ashifa just saying a few words...

my current mood is....bored s usual..
lyfe lyfe lyfe..its complicated somewhere ...but its quite clear that im just striving to be what i am.
i hope nuhthing wud tarnish my hopes no more. i want to be someone.but i cant so why? why is life so cruel n unfairr?? then i wanted to njoy bliss but i cant so why?why am i smiling wen i noe its fake?
then i wanted to noe that there nothing to lose but why? why imm always feeling something is missingg?
now i want to be confident...but i feel that im just leaviin all up to the jinxx...so someone pls tell me...wadss lyfe? wen nothing comes to ur favour?

theres lyfe...script somewhere lost...

directed by ?? im not sure.
im just the main actor in this particularr life.
i want to act in sth better.
can ou find me one?

2008-06-28T23:32:00.001-07:00

2008-06-27T05:22:00.000-07:00

2008-06-27T05:21:00.000-07:00

2008-06-19T22:42:00.001-07:00

2008-06-19T22:40:00.001-07:00

2008-06-19T22:39:00.001-07:00

DANDANA DARNA

2008-06-19T06:11:00.001-07:00

pallanathu

2008-06-19T06:08:00.001-07:00

kuruvi

2008-06-19T06:05:00.000-07:00

2008-06-19T05:44:00.000-07:00

end of skull holiidaes...=][=

2008-06-19T05:24:00.000-07:00

hiie...=]

iytsh been so long ie cudd nott dropp by yarr...well holiidaes are endiin...juz stiil countiin down three daez fer itt to starrt...ie juz read 9 bksh to stopp the bore ie have att home...to0 much of relaxxinn in everie cornerr of mie house..;no wer to find to sit and make a hot spott.Ie thinkk ie been watchiin thousands of DVD...n also gettin on more weight...eattin n munchiin on my sofa. Tee Hee =P
ie escaped from homework...{guuud}
cant waiit to see mie besties...miiish them lots laarr...hope these three daes goes fasterrrrrrr.muzzy be errrrr....hehex=P
{mie englishie...}

byiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

shiiiifa
=][=

WEII!!! pls be broad minded laa...!

2008-02-23T02:01:00.000-08:00

PEEPs...
haixx... i duun noe y u all have a small minded brain...y do u like to say things that realli hurt people... it does not matter to people who wants to be straight forward...but im starting to hate whoever i used to like ...y won't u all just accept it??? well this did not happen to me laa... just to be there for some people that might be havin this grief and misfortune..ala u all...stay open minded laa... NO ONE IS PERFECT...NEITHER U...

pls act like a matured ... im daring to say that...cos some of u aren't and still calling u a matured
fat hope!!!
accept people the way they are... dun mess their life up.. u dun like them in the manner then tell it straight n c how they retaliates to it...got it? cos ...just imagine urself in their shoes which u just dun noe wad n why people hate u....but they ignore u...dun put a agitation face and call it QUITS!!! if u do that....then i'll try to make u feel like how that person feels... wanna try?
im so anoyed and agitated by immatured people like u...like SMALL person...hope ur smart to understand that!!!
or call ur self brainless...!!
thats my word...!
no offence to anione...just my opinion...

THIS WORLD DON'T BELONG TO YOU
NEITHER ME
ITS GOD'S...
THEN BE THE WAY TO APPRECIATE...
if u have a way to make people under ur will...then drop it off...
its right....dun talk so ill bt anione...
unless they truely nd it to be awake...

and y do must it alwais be insults be with u mortals...won't u shove it off?
if my smile just make u feel that im innocent ...u dream bigg...im not a nincompoop...
got it cleared?

ok..im not goin to be mood out...stop here...

shifa

2008-02-22T02:39:00.000-08:00

2008-02-22T02:23:00.000-08:00

very peaceful and NICE!!!! pls watch!!!

me

2008-02-22T02:21:00.001-08:00

me n onie me!!!!!

2008-02-09T23:50:00.000-08:00

woiik...

ehem ehem...hehex...

well sume stuffs i want to tell u bt me...&& i want want to tell...

iem singaporean la...tamilan...i fistly seen naked on 8th august 94 at S.G.H [sure go heaven]
i love listening to music...of cos la wei!!!
i love techno , raggae and hip hop...
n ya...i love writing poems...
i have an interest for fashion designing...willing to be one...
erm...i am crazie of perfumes...chocolate...
i love my teddy thats the softest and cudlies stuffy thingy i hug on.
i love my bed not my bedroom cos i share it with my irritating bro...
ie love boxing...
ie love smackdown wrestling!!! n especiallie... matt hardy.
n im carzie of the rock...but ie never c him fighting eh...
haish...
n i love dancing...i dance alone in my room ...
u won c how funnie i look wad....hehex..
ie despise thinking bt my probs...just want to njoy life blissness and joy...
but sumtimes i just can;t...no one is perfect u noe...
i love helping ya..but i told u, im phatetic sumtimes...
i'll always be there for a frend...but will they be there for me???
i will always care...but will they???
life is no haeven no hell...
its sumthing where there is smile there is tears...
but sumtines there is too much tears yhat we hate life...
n sumtimes there is too much of smile till we r bored of it.
no matter wad...we still have to face it...
time does not run after us...we run after time...
i love doin nonscence...thats y parents nag me.... alah everytime study brain crack la...do sumthing worthless is no crime okeyy...
and the same way...im not a machine...im not a geniuse and im not a beauty...
u want to insult..insult with the truth...
dun prattle a brainlees storie...and make it a big deal...
i hate mortals doin that...
cos i dun...
LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM....
hate me pls...don bother idiots...

i hate being so girlie....i love being though...thats who i am not who i want to be.
i brought myself up in a strict way...
not to cry for useless stuffs like...
useless frends...
useless boys...
useless way of thinking...
n mostlie...

i love to do hazardous stuffs thats chalenging in life...
but not deadlie ones...
im too bad to to be dead...

i love havin fun.....with the besh chum chumsh...everr...
i treasure the ones who have been there for me...
of cos yaa...
n ya... i hate ones who treat me like an idiot...
u be such a displeasure or a pain...or prick my patientce too much...
i'll play shit...

im me...me n onie me...

i told u...if u be nice...i be nice...

if not...u won't like me...

ashiee..

2008-02-09T23:49:00.000-08:00

ALAMAK!!!PIX SPOIL MEN!!!

goth....

2008-02-09T23:47:00.000-08:00

me!!!!